Now that finals have rolled around again, I've realized I'm praying more, which made me realize I had been praying less throughout the semester when I was really overloaded with work. Now I'm feeling rather guilty about it.
I used to have my ritual all worked out: I would get ready for bed, then pray before going to sleep. I liked praying at night because I had nothing else to do and could really devote my whole self and consciousness to it. These days however, with 3 a.m. bed times and 8 a.m. alarms, I just crawl pathetically into bed on autopilot and fall unconscious before I realize what I've done.
And the thing is, I'm grateful for that, too, which makes me feel even worse. There are a lot of people who would give anything to be here, at such a great school, getting less than 5 hours of sleep a night and learning from some of the best in the field. There are a lot of people who worked even harder than I did in undergrad in hopes of coming here and getting the chance to experience what I'm experiencing. It doesn't seem like it should be too hard to carve out 5 minutes in the day to say "Thank you" for everything I've been given.
But it has been hard, and I have been doing it less than I expect of myself. I've been neglectful, and now that the REALLY hard times are here, I'm realizing it. I suppose there's nothing to do except apologize, redouble my efforts to make sure it doesn't happen again, and move forward.
Still, I feel guilty.
So, to anyone who believes in God, remember to pray today! You'll be in my prayers tonight. :)
Wishing you peace,
Danai
2 comments:
Hey DB - Don't be too hard on yourself, Girl! God knows your heart and He doesn't want you to pray out of duty, but out of sincerity and a thankful spirit. Also remember that praying doesn't necessarily mean kneeling down, bowing your head and closing your eyes, you can pray when ever and where ever you are.
Here are a few verses to encourage you:
"And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him." - Matthew 6:7-8
"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God." - Romans 8:26-27
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Blessings to you my friend!
Hi Dani,
Thank you, it's kind of you to remind me that God knows my heart.
I know praying isn't necessarily kneeling down, but I really like praying at night because I can give my whole mind and consciousness over to Him and really think through everything I have and am thankful for.
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Thank you and blessings to you too! :)
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